Dating and relationships mag cover |
OYO new issue of its magazine ‘OYO, young, latest and cool’ is now out. This issue deals with the theme ‘dating and relationships’.
Although a lot has been said lately about HIV/AIDS, STIs and unwanted pregnancies, we often feel that we fail to address the real issue. Both STIs and unwanted pregnancies result from unprotected sex. To be even more precise, they result from unprotected penetrative sex. This is a very intimate act between two people, and for our purposes, between two young people. So how do two young people come to the point where they engage in such an intimate act?
Having sex with someone does not happen just like that, as if by chance. If we exclude cases of rape, where a person is forced to have sex against his or her will, sexual intimacy involves the consent of two people. Reaching this consent is a process, and traditionally, this process is known as dating.The process of dating is therefore an important one: it is a little bit like a probation period: I observe you, you observe me. I get to know you, you get to know me. It is a time that is extremely important for building strong foundations for the forthcoming relationship we want to enter into.
Nowadays, however, this process seems often not to take place at all. People meet, seduce one another and in almost no time at all, end up having sex. After a day or two they call one another boyfriend and girlfriend. They skip steps. But what is likely to happen next? You have sex with someone you don’t really know. It is quite likely that after a few days, you start discovering that he is not as nice as you thought he was, or she is not as funny as you thought she was. You discover that you don’t share the same values, and soon you start to get on each other’s nerves. You realise he is actually quite violent, and drinks a little too much, a little too often. Or you discover that she has nasty friends and is in fact after your money. Because you got into a relationship without taking the time to get to know the other person, you are likely to get hurt and fail.
Many adults in Namibia think it is not worth talking about dating and relationships with children because children don’t have sex! At OYO we are still amazed at the fact that this myth still prevails in Namibia. If children don’t have sex, can somebody please explain to us why every year over 1 400 girls drop out of school because of teenage pregnancy? Or why the HIV sero-prevalence survey undertaken every second year by the Ministry of Health and Social Services reveals that about 6% of 15- to 19-year-old are HIV-positive?
We think it is high time that we stopped lying to ourselves. Obviously, not all children have sex, but some do. Some start having sex while still very young. Cases of 12-year-olds having sex have been reported. Instead of either playing the ostrich (and pretending this is not happening) or condemning the practice without trying to understand it, let us accept the facts and deal with them. We felt, because we acknowledge that young people are sexual beings, that it was important to understand the sexual dynamics they experience. We wanted to understand why young people date, how they date and with whom they date.
Since we felt this was a particularly important issue, this magazine will be evaluated. A pre-quiz will be given to secondary schools learners, to assess their behaviour and knowledge. A post-quiz will be given in four months time, to assess if knowledge has improved and if behaviour has changed.
The magazine is currently being distributed in schools in the Kunene, Erongo and Khomas regions. For more information on the magazine, you can contact us at info@ombetja.org. This magazine has received support from UNESCO and the Fondazione Virginio Bruni Tedeschi.
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